Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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