Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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