before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize