you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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