I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
