When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
