I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
