dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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