so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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