Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
