He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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