I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
