You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
