so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
