i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
