So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
