Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
