Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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