My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
