Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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