i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Randomize
