My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
