ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
