i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
