It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
