i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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