I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
