just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
