So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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