their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
