well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
