i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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