quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
4 words: hood of his car
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
