this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
