im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Are we still banned from the library?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
