So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
