Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
