May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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