Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
