I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
