i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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