You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
