Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
