who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
