Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
