Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
