If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm like, not good at living.
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