Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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