This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
