he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's paper in my vomit.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
