Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize