I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My pussy is not your playground.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
