hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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