Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
