you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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