Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
