he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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