Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
too bad you live with your parents still
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
