i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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