Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
